Make your dreams come true!

Wow. Tonight was an eye opener. I immediately went home and watched the Just DO IT meme with Shia Labeouf. It kind of made me feel better. And it basically says what I am doing. I say I'll do it tomorrow NO! DO IT TODAY! THATS WHAT I WANT! I want to do it today. I KNOW that I'll feel better if I do it today! Thinking about it is not enough!

I'm not sure if it has always been this way with me but I constantly feel like I am never doing enough and then never changing the habit and then when the going gets tough I get going. I know what I want to do. I know what Kung Fu has done for me. I keep coming for a reason. But it never feels like I involve myself enough in what I am doing. I always am the first to quit. And tonight was the swift kick in the butt this year that I know that I haven't done enough and I could do more.

I have been considering quitting the I Ho Chuan in the next year. Like its a small chant I have been repeating in my head. "you cant do it next year you have a baby commitment. You cant do it next year you restart work, you'll still have Kung Fu so not a total loss " But when Sifu Brinker talked about that it would relieve stress but only temporarily, I felt that in the core of my being. Because looking back that's all I've done. Justify to myself that its best if I let things go because it would be easier. And don't get me wrong some of the things have been good to drop because I was in toxic environments and I was not improving and I was losing myself little by little. But I know that I will not feel that with dropping out of the I Ho Chuan. I have become a better person, pandemic or not for being in I Ho Chuan, with all of you. I've never had people fully believe in what I can do in a program as everybody who had encouraged me in Silent River. And I know that giving up is default. I know that's the safest option, the easiest option. But I don't want that. I want to continue and grow and learn and experience. I want to pick myself up over and over again and know each time that it is going to get better. Because it has. So I know it will.

Thanks for reading my rant. I hope everybody walked away with the same level of inspiration I did. And I hope I have the courage to join the Tiger. Night everyone.

P.S. Here is Mr. Labeouf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

Exhaustion and Defeat

 Hey everyone. I think by the title you can see that this is not going to be an uplifting blog. But we will see. Sometimes these things take a turn for me.

So at the beginning of this year I knew that things were gonna change. And young naive me thought that the restricted mobility would be the hardest part. That the month or so of healing from the day I would be able to get back on track. But it has been so hard. Not just in a physical sense. On top of her being colic she is a lot. I know that I need time to adjust but its taking a lot longer than I had anticipated. Not saying that I would be able to go back to how they were before Mackenzie but I thought that I would be able to sneak in a form here and there or place her down and do some reps for 15min.  Nay nay she says.

She is so amazing though. She is already rolling back to front to back again. She babbles constantly and when it is time to sleep she makes sure that I get a bedtime story about how very much she does not want to do that. I win most of the time and she cuddles in for a small walk before bed. It is so wonderful everyday to watch her grow and learn.

When I wanted to initially write this blog it was going to be about how my numbers this year are horrendous and that I feel like my Hook sword form is nothing but garbage. Super downer talk. I do feel defeated though. I feel like no matter how much I can get at I Ho Chuan or how much time I can get away when baby is sleeping it still feels like I am going no where. Hopefully that will change. Hopefully I won't feel like I am dragging myself through the motions of the day. 

Anyway,  I hope that everybody is having an amazing November and that the snow is not bothering people too much! Stay safe and warm!

  

Routine

 Hello! So I first wanna say that break-a-thon on Monday was amazing! It is super empowering  to break through a board on the first try and hear that satisfying crack! And a huge thanks to Ms. Poitras for letting me break on of her wooden boards! That is a different feeling all together and although it was more intimidating it was also almost easier than the plastic boards. Can't wait to do that next year!

So routine. Gonna be honest, these years in I Ho Chuan have been the most organized years of my life. I have a purpose to work out and improve myself more than physically. It has given me the tools to think more critically about what I find important in my life and what I should prioritize. And I know that my priorities have definitely changes in the past couple of months. I still struggle to do proper exercises on certain nights and I know that I am still getting up to speed on a couple of techniques. 

Speaking of getting up to speed the demo is fast approaching and there is still much to work on in my weapons form. I am now listening to Hocus Pocus by Focus, not to make my form around it but to figure out the beats. I got it on replay in my head. Its catchy. 

Thats all got to say for this evening. I hope everybody has a SPOOKY HALLOWEEN! WWHHoooOOOOoooo

It ain't easy, but it's honest

 2 posts in one day..... What is happening!?!?

Well first I'm gonna prelude this by a couple of thoughts going through my brain tonight.

"Wow this work out is tough"

"Okay I watched the video of me doing my form I should be fine"

" Yeah of course I remember...... nope I remember nothing"

"Dear Larwdy that stage is small"

"Well I suck... but Im gonna get better"

Okay so this is gonna be about my weapons form. I am not gonna lie. Its been since...April... yeah that sounds about right since I have touched the hook swords. I got super round and was like "as much as I like bruising my legs and abdomen I think Im gonna stop swinging" and I don't regret that. What I regret is not mentally keeping up with the form. Playing with it in my head and improving that way. Well, better late than never I guess. I know that I should not start from scratch at this point but honestly I feel that the form I had no longer fits the intent I want to pull of with my form. I want to do something that I can do and do well. Even if it only 5 or 6 moves. 

Here's to improving after major changes! Huzzah!

Getting back up

 Ahhhh the sweet freedom of being back in class. *inhales* smells like Hard work and Learning.... and sweat... a lot of sweat.

But all joking aside it is wonderful to be back in the kwoon with everybody and being able to take time out of my day to do Kung Fu has been amazing. Im gonna tell you all right now, I knew that I would have less abdominal muscles but it really surprised me how much I lost. Sit ups and pushups are back to being insanely hard and even though we worked on them lots in the last couple of classes I only feel a little bit of the strength coming back. Thats alright though! Its always been an uphill battle and this is only a small blip in the road to greater things!

 

Trying not to Ghost

 Hello Everyone!

Sorry for being gone so long. Its been uhh a bit busy! I have missed everyone at the kwoon (online and in class) as sometimes babys' schedule for supper and class overlap and I can only pay attention to one thing at a time. 

Good news first. I'm feeling so much better than I did 6 weeks ago! In fact, last night was my Best Friends wedding and I had a wonderful time on the dance floor! I do feel a little sore and my legs are giving me that feeling that threatens random charlie horses, but! it was amazing. I am hoping on picking up my weapons more frequently and getting the muscle build up that I have lost from so long "relaxing" 

Bad news. Little Mac turned out to be Colic and while this has led to a very distressed baby ergo very distressed parents we seem to have found out the issue is allergies. To milk. To cheese. To my favourite food group. So I am officially a week and a half with out dairy and it has done wonders for the kiddo. She sleeps better, longer and doesn't scowl (as often). I will miss my dear creamy, sweet, chewy, and all the other forms of dairy, but I would trade it again in a heartbeat to help Mac. 

I am going to be the first to admit to myself that Kung Fu has not been on the forefront of my mind. Maybe not even the middle of my mind. But I am reminded by myself daily that it is not at the back. There is a least a couple days a week where I will be doing something and be like "man, that would be so good to blog about (and then not)". Or baby Mac likes to be moving sometimes after feedings and I have found that waltzes are a fav for the way they stop and go. And from that, I discovered that I can practice bow stances, cat stances moving horse stances all around my house and it soothes her pretty well. 

Good news again! I am preparing to come back to the kwoon in September and hopefully by then Mac will be on a better schedule. I am super excited about the prospect of coming back and even though I know that I will not be 100% what I was before I will get back to it!

Looking forward to seeing all of you again!

Oh! Also my baby has to be the most chattery baby I have every seen. She is now vocalizing with out screaming and is quite good and responding with little aaahhs and ooohhhs. And her smiles are becoming more permanent and less having to do with her little bowels. OKAY! Thats enough of rambling about the baby!

Recovery

 I know the title sounds weird for what just happened, but stay with me. So for those who don't know I just had a bouncing baby girl! Mackenzie Lucille Manderson was born on July 8th bright eyed and bushy-tailed at 6am! Whoooo! Myself and my husband on the other hand were a little less awake after an entire night of waiting. But gosh-darn the wait was worth it! Look how cute she is!

I could go on all day about how cute she is and how adorable and wonderful and beautiful and fantastic and amazing and snuggly and soft and squeaky she is! But! I shall digress. There had been some major changes in out house hold for both me and my husband and babe. Babe had severe jaundice coming out of the womb and due to extenuating circumstances I could not go visit her in the NICU. Thanks Covid guidelines. It was a couple of stressful days at the hospital for both of us and  am so happy to be home. Its been about a week since we were at the hospital and all of us could not be happier to be home.

So the recovery part. I am unable (advised not to) do stairs or strenuous exercise for up to six weeks after my delivery. However, I am finding moving around a lot easier when I carry little Mac on the outside of me verses the inside. But, I am still in frequent pain and am finding long periods of standing or walking very uncomfortable. As the week has gone by it has been better and I have been able to do basic stretching and routine walks. I am putting off the hard stuff till later. But it feels positive. It feels like I will be able to do things with relative ease if I keep working at it slow and steady. 

Emotionally, I feel like I need to recover as well. And that might take longer than I anticipated. Partly due to the fact that a healthy mind needs a fair share of sleep and I have a sneaky suspicion that it might be a couple weeks before me and babe fall into a comfortable schedule! But fret not dear hearts, because I have an amazing support system! Not just from my husband who is willing to take the bullet and feed babe to give me a couple of hours, but the family on both sides has been amazing this past week and a bit. Lu has been over helping look after Mac and give her extra cuddles and my mom has been using her vacation time to help around the house. I know that it is going to be different next week when I am on my own with babe for the day but I feel more confident now doing things. So once again, slow and steady is going to win this race!

I hopefully shall see you all in the Kwoon again soon! Till then, stay safe and enjoy the summer sun!

   

Bucket List Day 1

First day! On my bucket list I really don't have super high goals. Before this year I think I would have put do another 5 day hike, go back to Japan, see more of the world and achieve my black belt. Those are still on my bucket list but now I have a whole new category! The new list includes me doing all I have in my power to have my kid grow up happy and healthy.

P.S. This was written after the 2 mins. Holey moley they do go by fast! This perhaps will help with my word count per min! XD

And they don't stop coming.

 So the first thing to address is that of dire importance. It is snowing outside. I don't know if it is cold outside I have not been brave enough to test it. This has been a weather PSA.

Secondly, it halfway through May and the days are getting longer and shorter at the same time. Longer in the way that the days are brighter and sunsets come later, but shorter in the way that everything seems to be happening all at once.

In regards to my Kung Fu, I have not been keeping up as well as I should. Now, before y'all start saying I should be resting cause I be constructing a tiny human in my body, that does mean that I should be slacking in other areas of my training. It has been no less than 3 days since I picked up my weapons and doing Long daily has become a going through the motion type form. And its not everyday but sometimes it takes me a little longer to remind myself why I am doing this. Why I am striving to become a better martial artist. Maybe thats the baby brain setting in and maybe its the frustration of not being able to do the things I use to do so easily. All I know is that even with all these challenges and uncertainties and changes ahead, I always have people to turn to for help. So I know that it is going to be okay!

Have a wonderful week everybody and get out there and make some snow angels!  

P.S. Even though I am laid up with nausea, baby still thinks 7pm is moving time. I was watching the class tonight and as soon as Sifu Csillag was giving the warm up kiddo started to do tiny kicks and punches. A tiny student they are already! :D

April Showers? You mean April Blizzards!

 Couple of things! 

First, I got my first bruise of what I assume to be many with my hookswords. The scars that I shall bear are naught but trophies for my final form!! But in all seriousness the bruise is small and I was swinging a little out of my range at the current level I possess. It shall not deter me though and I am excited to see what I can do with them.

NUMBER 2! Babe is getting bigger and is thinking that all of my abdominal space is for the taking. So once again I have had to find my limits on what I can and cannot do. Which I mean is a great thing because I don't think that I every thought about what limits I had before. But with them constantly growing I am having to adjust to something new every week. I can only hope that even after baby is born I remember to find out what limits me ( in Kung Fu or otherwise) and adjust to them accordingly!

Have a wonderful night everyone!

Hook, Line and Sinker

 Lets talk about weapons. This year I decided that my weapon of choice is the Hookswords, the flying knives, the long curvy swords. There is no forgiveness in this weapon as my Ms. Lee demonstrated to me last year with her many, many, many bruises. And scrapes. And close calls with heavy pointed pieces of metal swinging at the side of the head. Terrifying. And exhilarating and wonderful. 

I feel that I have a small grasp on the concept of the weapon. The fact that I chose a dual weapon this year was not a mistake, but what I wanted to grow in. Last year when I was doing the dual broadsword I enjoyed the feeling of moving everything at the same time. At that might be something that I have to work on. I know that it is something I have to work on. With any weapon or form that I work on. Finishing moves when I settle into a stance. Having the confidence the throw the weapons and become a living helicopter. 

So to sum it up. I feel confident enough in my weapon this year, buuut, I also know that it is a completely different weapon than last year. I know that I  have many resources that I can reach out if I need it this year. I for sure am going to use it.

Have a wonderful Easter weekend everybody!

Hit the Ground

 So I kinda mentioned this in my last blog but I would like to expand on it. Since there has been baby I have had to constantly adjust my Kung Fu. In 2 major areas. Grappling and kicks. Lets start with grappling

So don't get me wrong. I still love laying on the floor and rolling around and all that. But the sudden movements that come with the application of grappling are a no go at the moment. I recall a couple weeks ago when we were doing the double kick from a scoot position and I had clearly no tested my limits in that yet. The low kick was fine but when I had to lift my body and deliver the high kick my body just floored me. Literally. So I have been trying to find out solutions to still do these challenges. What I have mostly come up with is take my gosh darn time. Figure out my intent with what I wanna do. Call back to yesterdays class when we are all trying not to work up a sweat. Sifu Brinker was saying that we cant work on power and speed in that moment so what is left. Technique. I think that technique will be my main focus this coming year. Along with adjustments. 

Have a great night y'all

Kicking Garden Gnomes

"Read as on Tin". Kicking garden Gnomes. Punting Hobbits. Intimidating smallerish creatures than myself. Which is hard sometimes considering I am statistically short for my ethnic group. A fact I shall never live down. 

Anywho! I wanted to talk about changes! Big changes are coming and with that modifications are being made! Big modifications with Big Changes! One of the biggest modifications (though as in so far) that I have had to deal with is what feels comfortable and what I am able to achieve. By no means do I think that Ohhhh Im having a baby! I better drop all my physical exercise and just focus on resting. The comfortable is not for me. But for my new boss, who thinks grappling and abd exercises are the worst thing in the world. What have I done to combat this? Take my time. Find my limits. Explore what I can and cannot do. I really enjoyed doing the Sil Lum Seminar not only because it is a fantastic thing to do 10/10,  but I found out what my limits were for core exercises. Not going to lie, I did have to adjust a couple of techniques or do something completely different. But that was Okay! Cause now I know those limits better!

And as for the core techniques it is the same for the kicks. I have found that it is a slightly no go for higher than my belt crane kicks as well as fast paced kicking. But I have found if I do them slowly with proper technique and focus on not twisting my body suddenly then everything is A-Okay! 

I am sure that there will be more challenges in the coming months but I have utter confidence that all will be well! 

Have a wonderful night every one!

Goodbye my sweet Rat, Hello my dearest Ox

So this year has been a banger hasn't it. First off I would like to say that I do not regret joining the I Ho Chuan at all. At first I was a little skeptical because that is a lot of work to put into something at the beginning of the year I wasn't 100% sure I was committed to. I know that sounds awful but hear me out. I knew that I wasn't gonna like the 150 and some odd push ups and sit ups per day. I knew that it was going to "take" up precious me time. I knew that this was a huge commitment. I looked back on my posts from the beginning of last year and man, I really dropped the ball. And that was before I knew that I could pick myself back up again without feeling like a total loser. 

Because that's what this is all about for me. To be able to look at myself and say "wow, Ya have had a couple of real rough days, but ya know what today is gonna be? A new start, BABY!" And I feel like if I had to take anything away from this year that would be it. You can start again, You do get a second chance, you do get to change who you want to be in your life. Honestly, that is amazing to me.

Okay so I would like to point out that my numbers for this year were abysmal. Like comparing what I have done to what I should have done, Wooooof, really wasn't keeping my promises there bud. But ya know what? For all those numbers that I didn't do you know what I did? More push ups and sit ups than I have ever done in my life in a year. In I Ho Chuan tonight Sifu Brinker talked about that guy who did 1,000,000 push ups in a year? If I continue to push myself ....  well I will probably never get that high but I will be able to be complete the requirements. And dang if that doesn't give me something to look forward to. 

Another thing I would like to point out that I Ho Chuan has given me is so much knowledge. I learned 2 (2!) new forms this year. Yes both of them were in late January/early February of last year but how cool is that? Both 18 Temple Motions and Lao Gar were new forms for me. And I know that we all learned Lao Gar this year as a school but I had never heard of it before this year. I had seen the upper belts preforming it once or twice but it was really amazing to be able to learn and practice this year with everybody. 

AND YET another thing was the weekly workouts with Mr. Thomson and Sifu Ward. Man, somedays they were exhausting, but I was always excited to be there as it kept me engaged and reminded me to keep up my skills. (This was around the time the first serious lock down was and everybody was going bananas.) I am looking forward to them in the new year!

I am going to close this novella with a huge thank you to everybody in the I Ho Chuan and at the kwoon. I have, despite everything, learnt so much this year and grown so far in my Kung Fu. So thank you. And may the year of the Ox give us even more opportunities! Huzzah!

Get Outta Here Ya Rat!

Buckle in folks, this is gonna be a long one.

First off, I would like to thank each and everyone of you for keeping up your blogs. This may sound weird as I have not posted in quite some time but I do like coming on and seeing what everybody is up to. It reminds me to always find a little bit of time to, if not practice for long, reflect on Kung Fu. So again, thanks to you all.

Another note is that Kung Fu has taken a bit of a dip in the past couple months for a whole variety of reasons. Not all of the valid and not all of them healthy. I sometimes feel stuck most days and am back to what I was at the beginning of last year with that. " I'll do it later" kind of attitude. Not cool in the slightest, and super tough to get out of.

If I am being honest, I have re-written this particular blog 4 times already. Each had a different message and a different point that I wanted to get across but it kinda just felt like I would be complaining about things that in my control and that I could get past if it I just got moving. Some days its amazing and I can do lots and complete the goals I have set out for myself and work on doing things that I really enjoy! And those days I find are the best. But it only works if I keep moving.

I stopped moving about a 2 weeks ago. I found out that one of the staff at our facility had been ignoring their "flu symptoms" and had come in to work. You can guess the rest. The entire building was in lock down and remains in lock down at the present time. Luckily for me I took the week off for Christmas so I was not in on that day. But I was working boxing day which was about a week and a bit after they had found out. The worst part is that work did not call to inform me of the situation. In another stroke of luck, Covid had not spread to the other pods and was contained to the place where the staff worked. I got a test taken after a day of work and then next week and both have came back negative. ( Miracles ) But I was coming home exhausted. Both mentally and physically. Wearing the gear all day and taking it off and all day was tough. I got home and thought of all the other things that I had to do and it was a little too much. 

Thank the clever people in the world for making Zoom and Facebook video. It would have been a quiet Christmas indeed if I could not see family. But the tech exists and we had very pleasant chats with both sides. Me and Lu have been keeping up with our twice weekly meetings to encourage us to continue working at Kung Fu and for a wonderful chat.  

ALSO!! Happy New Year! Hello again to all those who will be coming back for the Ox team and welcome to the new members! Not gonna lie I never thought that I would ever do I Ho Chuan. It was a pretty far away goal when I heard about it. It is honestly the best experience I have every had with Kung Fu and I feel that even if I did not meet all of my requirements that I have done more than I ever though I would accomplish. It is a very good feeling and I would recommend it to each and every one of the students at Silent River. It has had me become more and improve where I thought that I could never do. I am ... happy with myself this year. I Ho Chuan transformed Kung Fu from a place where I would go bi-weekly for exercise and a good time to a community built by people who love Kung Fu. I has been a honor to be a Rat with all of you and even though this year has put us through many, many, many hops and hurdles, some more than others, I feel that this little place that we have, of people growing together and learning and becoming who they want to be is amazing. Has helped a lot of people, (including me) work on things we never dreamed of. So once again I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to all those who blogged, the Sifus who took the time to do the One on Ones and everybody who has been encouraging this entire Plague ridden year. We made it through this one and we will make it through the next. 

Also next year for my requirement I will be doing double the requirements. This does not mean that I will be doing anymore than what is required, but I will have a "little" help for about the next 7 months. Already the tiny person I am doing it with has present a couple of challenges that have to accommodate for. Their least favorite has to be pushups, so I have switched back to modified for them. I think after July I will be able to work towards a semblance of regular working out. *sigh* But till then! I shall work on working around them and see where we go from there. I have a picture of my little partner in crime and I hope our happy news is wonderful for all of you too!

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I WISH THE BEST FOR ALL OF US IN THIS UP COMING YEAR! WE GOT THIS!

Say hello to my Little Friend!